Science & Technology

EASYGOING slow computers don't get why everyone is swearing at them.

GOOGLE'S computer glasses immerse the wearer in the fantasy world of children's TV show Knightmare, it has emerged.

ANNOYING bastards are going to be constantly pestering you, thanks to electronic things.

BRITISH scientists are offering a free pint of lager to anyone who can eat a plateful of the Earth's core.

BRAINS belonging to members of UKIP have been hacked causing them to go mental.

HUMANITY will be destroyed by its need to keep dicking about with things for no reason, academics have warned.

PHYSICIST Peter Higgs is treating the 'God particle' like a tiny pet, it has been claimed.

ONE in a hundred fags has a special ingredient that makes it incredible.

BRAIN scans that can read your dreams need to be stopped immediately, it has been agreed.