Society

Pub jazz band confirms next gig will last forever

A PUB jazz band has confirmed that its next gig will never end.

These thugs we totally agree with are dreadful, say twats

MEMBERS of the public and media have criticised aggressive right-wing protesters they have been encouraging for several years.

Friend has another f**kwitted YouTube video for you

A MAN believes he is giving friends a vital insight into how the world works by sending them YouTube videos clearly made by fringe crackpots.  

'Basically' confirmed as the new 'literally'

BASICALLY is this year's top superfluous word, it has been confirmed.

Have you just been mugged or did you just buy a train ticket?

ARE you distraught, shaking and much poorer? You’ve either been mugged or just bought a ridiculously overpriced train ticket. Take our test and find out what happened.

Bastard at front of ticket queue decides to plan his journey now

A MAN at the front of a queue for train tickets decided it was the perfect time to have a long, tetchy discussion with the cashier.

Racist nan mixes it up with rant about 'trannies'

A RACIST grandmother threw a rant about trans rights into her usual bigoted diatribe.

Dad losing battle against opening a present on Christmas Eve

A FATHER determined to hold the line against his children opening a present on Christmas Eve knows he is destined to lose.

Little shit submits revised list two days before Christmas

A FIVE-year-old has announced that she no longer wants the toys that ‘Santa’ has already bought her.

Gatwick drone chaos 'perhaps a glimpse of no-deal Brexit' claim people not in denial

THE chaos at Gatwick airport may be some kind of forewarning, according to people who reckon the looming no-deal Brexit will not be 'a doddle'.