Society

EVERYTHING is now rock'n'roll except rock'n'roll itself, it has emerged.

A MAN has stared into the abyss after believing his parents were finally leaving only for them to begin making another pot of tea.

A STUDENT offered an 'unconditional' place at university is determined to test just how unconditional it really is, she has confirmed.

A BOY who lost his shit because his mum gave him juice in the blue cup and not the green cup claims he is not in the slightest bit tired.

A MAN who has six pairs of Nike Air Max trainers has only two pairs of underpants, his girlfriend has confirmed.

IF a group of young people start giggling when you walk past, you could be the victim of mockery by little shits. But how can you be sure? Read our guide and find out.

NASTY towns across Britain are being subjected to a Christmas visit from the Pepsi Max Cherry truck.

A MAN is filled with dread at the thought of a month filled with tortuous social situations.

A GROWING number of intelligent people have been expelled from the UK for smelling weird and preferring maths to telly.

EVERY single person in Britain is wondering when they can go back to not knowing or caring who or what the DUP is, research has confirmed.