Society

A CHILD who has been put on the naughty step to think about what he has done is instead planning how to destroy his parents utterly.

A MUM whose family brought her breakfast in bed for Mother's Day would quite like them all to fuck off and leave her to eat it in peace.

AN odd-looking fucker has commandeered an entire four-seater table for himself in an absolutely rammed café.

A WOMAN spotted singing heartily along to music in her car now has no option but to complete the song, she has confirmed.

HAVING a fight while doing the school run is an increasingly popular pastime with mums looking to establish dominance and keep healthy.

A MIDDLE class family who adore their nanny have not noticed they are paying her and that she is the only ‘family member’ who never loses their shit.

IT’S not easy to break it to a friend that their new beard looks ridiculous. Here are some ways to do it.

A WOMAN lost her mind after being momentarily unable to find her phone in her handbag, it has emerged.

A MAN has researched his family tree for the last seven centuries but is still not related to a single aristocrat, highwayman or war hero.

EVERYONE is being really nasty to racists at the moment and should be more bigoted, racists believe.