Society

A MAN has stumbled across a shoe suitable for a regular human being at TK Maxx.

FAILING to post a photo of every single vaguely pleasant moment of your life does not mean you are not having a good time, it has emerged.

A WELL-TO-DO man has amazed friends by being able to communicate with his builders as easily as if they were from his own social class.

A SINGLE dog turd has outmatched all predecessors by ruining the days of 18 different people.

A MAN has started another stupid fucking waste of time, he has confirmed.

THE annual festival of whinging about premature displays of Christmas goods in shops is getting earlier every year, it has been confirmed.

A MAN asked to 'move down' a packed tube carriage has pointed out there was nowhere for him to go without becoming extremely intimate with other people.

A CYCLIST approaching a busy city crossing decided to regard a red light as advice to bear in mind rather than an order to stop.

A MAN who painstakingly built a Thunderbirds Tracy Island is still pissed off with his mum for dumping it during a ‘clear out’ three years ago.

A YOUNG woman whose life is bursting with possibility plans to spend the next sixty years obsessing over minor social interactions.