Society

A FATHER trying to explain the ‘facts of life’ to his son is hoplessly confusing him with metaphors about ‘getting one in the back of the net’ and ‘slam dunks’.

ARE you putting enough insufferable posts about your perfect life on Facebook? Eyes down for a game of Facebook smugness bingo!

A MAN has given a glowing account of his school days that is very different to how his friends remember it.

A FATHER has been feeding his child utter bollocks about being able to have any job they want when they grow up.

ARE you worried you’re not being goaded enough by the media over ISIS bride Shamima Begum? Read our checklist and see if you could be angrier.

A SUPPORTER of Brexit has been forced to stockpile a large number of Pot Noodles ‘just in case’, he has admitted.

A MOTORIST hopes the driver behind, who did not intend to allow her into traffic but had no choice, realises she was flashing her hazards sarcastically.

A FRIENDSHIP has come to a close with the words 'Let’s just pay for what we had', it has been confirmed.  

TWO colleagues are going to the pub after work for just one quick bitch about the bastards in their office.

A MAN who everyone says is ‘good with children’ would be a horribly incompetent father, it has emerged.