Society

EVERY last poster, mug and T-shirt bearing the ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ slogan has been destroyed in frustrated rage, it has emerged.

A GUARDIAN reader is secretly enjoying being even more earnest than usual because of Brexit.

A MAN who claims he has been ignored by politicians is actually a lazy dipshit who just likes complaining, it has emerged.

THE UK has been reminded that it should never, ever trust anyone named Jeremy. 

A WOMAN who found herself experiencing empathy for George Osborne is questioning her sanity, it has been confirmed.

THE screaming chaos presently engulfing the UK is entirely down to you, experts have confirmed.

A MAN hoping to boast about how Glastonbury Festival changed his life has found that people simply could not give a shit.

THE apple crops are looking much better this year, Leave voters have confirmed.

A FAMILY has decided to treat the referendum result as an overwrought personal drama.

MILLIONS of Britons are furious that they were allowed to vote on leaving the EU, they have announced.