Society

A WOMAN who claimed to take a controversial position to stimulate debate is actually just annoying, it has been confirmed.

PEOPLE renting out properties on Gumtree are to be made to take a test to determine whether not they are maniacs.

A MAN has announced he will be arriving home drunk around three in the morning and then burning the shit out of a frozen pizza.

A 16-YEAR-OLD girl managed to fool bar staff that she was of legal drinking age by ordering a Campari and soda.

A RECENTLY-DUMPED man is not sure why being ‘too nice’ was such a problem.

THE owner of a character-filled 1960s car is desperate for one that is comfortable and does not constantly break down, he has revealed.

AN ASPIRING musician has discovered that his fall-back career option of setting up a world-renowned record label is only marginally less impossible.

AN AWFUL, depressing evening out has been immortalised in a cheerful group photo.

BRITONS have demanded another important issue to vote on without much thought for the consequences.

LOCALS are coming to terms with having seen their neighbour's weird knees over the weekend.