Society

Neighbourhood traumatised by uncovered knees

LOCALS are coming to terms with having seen their neighbour's weird knees over the weekend.

Young offenders sentenced to two weeks at service station on the M6

TWO youths convicted of selling cannabis in Wolverhampton have been sentenced to a fortnight at Hilton Park services on the M6.

Conspiracy theorists finally convinced no secret society could possibly be running this mess

CONSPIRACY theorists have finally been convinced there is no secret society running everything because no-one could possibly believe any of this was orchestrated.

Neighbour loving song that goes 'dun dun dun, dun-dun dun-dun dun dun'

THE RESIDENT of the flat next door likes the song that goes 'dun dun dun, dun-dun dun-dun dun dun’ so much she is playing it over and over again.

Genuinely unexpected item found in bagging area

A SOLID gold South American idol, lost for 1,600 years, has been found unexpectedly in the self-service bagging area of a Swindon Tesco.

Newborn baby has no idea what it just did to its mother

A BABY is enjoying its first few days on earth with absolutely no clue of the havoc it has wreaked on its mother's body and mind.

52 per cent of Britons don’t believe in moon landings and that number sounds familiar, say experts

52 per cent of the UK does not believe the moon landings happened, and that is not the first time that number has made headlines recently.

Economic growth is bollocks and we don’t need it, say Brexiters

BRITAIN’S reduced economic growth forecast means the whole concept is probably bollocks, Brexit supporters have explained.

Most ‘banter’ actually just people talking shit

THE vast majority of the UK’s ‘banter’ fails to meet basic levels of pithiness, experts have revealed.

May to purge Britain of people who steal toilet paper from work 


THERESA May has launched a brutal crackdown on people who steal toilet rolls from their employers.