Society

TIPS given to waiters in Pizza Express are funding the middle class equivalent of Class War, it has emerged.

A WOULD-BE good Samaritan is theoretically up for buying a homeless person something to eat.

BRITAIN’S idiots have defended their right to use jargon instead of intelligence.

SONGS of Praise must always be broadcast from lovely parish churches in rural Surrey, it has been claimed.

EXPERTS have dismissed a survey naming Harrogate as the happiest town in Britain.

CHILDREN want to grow up to be tube train drivers refusing to work pending negotiations, it has emerged.

CRIMINALS do not need to be caught because their bad karma will catch up with them, according to the police.

A WOMAN has found herself torn over whether to pinpoint the specific slice of cake that she would like.

A MAN has celebrated the end of his twenties by accepting that none of his childhood ambitions will ever come to pass.

HOUSES are now worth so much they do not want people living in them and lowering their tone, they have announced.