Society

A 31-YEAR-OLD man who regularly wears plaid shirts is misrepresenting himself as rugged.

STUPID, privately educated people are being sidelined from low wage jobs, it has emerged.

TRAIN announcements such as ‘we offer a dedicated at seat trolley service’ are coded messages designed to arouse or unsettle passengers.

MINERS involved in the Battle of Orgreave are to be charged with not letting it go.

A MAN who used a hammock has described it as the least relaxing experience of his life.

MOST office toilet breaks are merely for the sake of variety, it has emerged.

LOVING working-class grandparents are to be reassigned to cold, ambitious middle-class families in dire need of them.

NOBODY is any the wiser as to why 11-year-old Wayne Hayes is a little shit after a parents’ evening at his school.

A MAN claiming to appreciate a wide range of music has been unable to name a specific act or album that he likes.

GANGS wearing the colours of Apple Music, Deezer, Spotify and Tidal are battling for supremacy on the streets.