Society

'GOING to the carvery' is now the UK’s biggest belief system.

A GAY Irish man who can now legally wed his partner is desperate not to.

A PROFESSOR has entered into a wager that he can make a Scottish National Party MP pass for a gentleman.

DAVID Cameron has confirmed it is okay to steal stuff from foreigners.

OFSTED School Performance Tables will culminate in play-offs and a Wembley Final.

THE public has been warned to avoid rail travel on any date.

A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.

A 15-YEAR-OLD boy was told to sit at the Trident missile controls and not press anything, it has emerged.

HOMEWORKERS in need of office-style conversation about TV and sport are meeting by dog waste bins.

STUDENTS hoping to move on to higher education from the University of Life must now pay a four-figure annual sum.