Society

THE public has been warned to avoid rail travel on any date.

A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.

A 15-YEAR-OLD boy was told to sit at the Trident missile controls and not press anything, it has emerged.

HOMEWORKERS in need of office-style conversation about TV and sport are meeting by dog waste bins.

STUDENTS hoping to move on to higher education from the University of Life must now pay a four-figure annual sum.

BAR worker Tom Logan has not even bothered to ask his boss whether his new job pays more than the legal minimum wage.

THE Government has today confirmed that it will be replacing the Human Rights Act with Warhammer 40,000: The Rules.

LOCAL drug dealer Tom Logan insists on using the word ‘yoghurts’ as a code for weed.

A LOCAL pub is apparently staging a beer festival by bringing in two additional ales.

PEOPLE who chose ridiculous email addresses before the internet properly caught on will be allowed to anonymously exchange them.