Society

THE sickening odour of rice cakes drifting across the country has prompted a nationwide search for a person on a diet.

THE world is on the cusp of peak exhaustion after hitting peaks in every possible field.

17-YEAR-OLD driver Tom Logan is demanding petrol money from friends that is disproportionate to his actual fuel costs.

ECONOMIST Thomas Piketty's Capital is on course to become the most unread book of the early 21st Century.

THE virtue of wisdom has ended its affiliation with beards.

COUPLES with televisions in the bedroom enjoy better and more frequent sex by proxy, it has emerged.

EVERYONE who owns an Audi TT is living slightly beyond their means, it has emerged.

THOUSANDS of hen parties are preparing for raucous yet entirely fake fun.

FIRST-TIME buyers can now borrow unlimited money to buy a castle, George Osborne has confirmed.

TOOLS for cutting holes in fences cost much less than music festival tickets, it has emerged.