Society

THIS year's Sunday Times Rich List includes guideline ransom figures for kidnapped billionaires.

YOUR life really is not as good as that of any other human, experts have confirmed.

THE row over faith-based meat has escalated with Anglicans demanding that packaging shows an image of Jesus eating a large sausage.

THE UK is the best country in Europe for awarding a university place to anybody who would like one.

THE government has announced a switch to montage-based training like in Rocky and The Karate Kid.

CHICKENS have thanked consumers for their concern over methods of slaughter and asked if that goodwill could be extended to just leaving them alone.

BRITAIN'S drug laws only work against 35-year-olds who have been ground down by years of inconvenience, it has been claimed.

WHITE people with dreadlocks are not facing as much discrimination as they would ideally like, it has emerged.

THE UK is the latest target of international con-artists attempting to sell popcorn that tastes of chilli and pepper.

INDIVIDUALS who score highly in 'psychopath tests' are really just unpleasant, it has emerged.