Society

Most seaside donkeys on smack

BRITAIN'S beach donkeys are increasingly addicted to heroin, it has emerged.

Twitter silence highlights misogyny and narcissism

A 24-HOUR Twitter boycott has highlighted the twin social evils of misogyny and narcissism.

All the good shit in storage

ALL of Britain's best stuff is in storage, according to a new survey.

Pretentious cafés won't do full English despite having all the ingredients

ABOVE-THEMSELVES cafes are refusing to offer a fry up, even though they have all the ingredients on their pretentious menu.

Who am I to judge the Pope, says gay man

A GAY man has said that although Pope-ish acts are bad, a Pope-ish orientation is not.

Ant Day declared a national holiday

BRITAIN has a new ant-based national holiday.

Church of England 'an enormous waste of everyone's time'

THE Church of England is a huge and utter waste of the time of everyone involved, it has been confirmed.