Society
North goes into mourning
PEOPLE in the North will observe three days of mourning following the death of the founder of Pukka Pies.
Age at which it is socially acceptable to smoke cannabis raised to 52
THE social stigma against smoking pot into middle age has been officially lifted.
Home workers spend all day laughing at you
HOME workers spend up to 85 per cent of their working day laughing spitefully at anyone stupid enough to be in an office.
Twitter abusers' mums urged to throw them out
THE mothers of men behind Twitter rape threats are being urged to boot them out of the parental home where they inevitably live.
King's Cross transformed into drug-free hellhole
THE King's Cross area of London has been transformed into a ghastly business centre where drugs and dirty sex can no longer be purchased openly.
Charities told to stop being a bit weird
CHARITIES have been told to start being likeable again.
Most seaside donkeys on smack
BRITAIN'S beach donkeys are increasingly addicted to heroin, it has emerged.