Society

BRITISH people cannot feel emotion unless they are looking at a small spherical object, it has emerged.

THE public are idiots, people who serve them have observed.

BRITAIN remains the global leader in swearing, it has been claimed.

RETRO baby names from the early 20th century have been exhausted, creating a trend for prehistoric-sounding options like Ung-Gaah.

VERY hot water with a bag floating in it is not a cup of tea, it has emerged.

A MASSIVE factory fire was caused by one of those monstrously fucking stupid Chinese lanterns, it has been confirmed.

JULY'S news events will all take place this week to clear media space for the Royal birth.

A GLOBAL study of human happiness has found that the single biggest factor is whether you are on MDMA.

DAVID Cameron has warned that a controversial messaging service could trigger a wave of violent frotting.