Society

VERY hot water with a bag floating in it is not a cup of tea, it has emerged.

A MASSIVE factory fire was caused by one of those monstrously fucking stupid Chinese lanterns, it has been confirmed.

JULY'S news events will all take place this week to clear media space for the Royal birth.

A GLOBAL study of human happiness has found that the single biggest factor is whether you are on MDMA.

DAVID Cameron has warned that a controversial messaging service could trigger a wave of violent frotting.

RETIRED British expats in Southern Europe will no longer get winter fuel payments because it is an incredibly stupid thing that should never have happened, it has emerged.

EVERYONE in Britain has finally admitted to having a ghoulish fascination with serial killers, Nazis and disfigurement.

MINISTERS are being urged to extend a tax break for married people to any couple whose sex life is a distant memory.

AIR passengers will be allowed to turn on all devices during take off and landing as long as they turn the volume up as loud as it will go.