Society

BRITONS are more scared of accidentally discovering plot details of American TV series than they are of dying.

THE government has announced plans to give everyone off the telly an advisory role, because it believes you find that sort of thing impressive.

OFFICE jobs are actually more stressful and unpleasant than manual labour, research has revealed.

THE requirement to 'Check Your Privilege' before saying anything is one of the most obviously toss-ridden things yet, experts have confirmed.

MOST students at desirable state schools are actually middle class parents in disguise as their children.

NEANDERTHALS did not die out but are still trying it on in town centre nightclubs, it has emerged.

JD WETHERSPOON is to open a zoo showcasing unusual and endangered humans, just off the M40.

EMPLOYERS offering dull jobs favour graduates with 2:2 degrees.