Society

Man unable to form opinion on cushion

A FATHER-OF-TWO has entered a trance-like state while trying to decide whether a cushion is nice.

Britain stops pretending to care

AS the Christmas holiday looms, Britons have abandoned all pretence of being interested in their jobs.

Teenage boys 'reduced to ogling shower pictures in catalogues'

A BAN on internet pornography could force teenagers to seek out nipples in the bathroom sections of retail catalogues.

The Mash Guide to Organising a Traditional Eastenders Christmas

MILLIONS will be watching the Christmas edition of Eastenders, but how to arrange your own Albert Square-style festivities?

Year-long wait for dried fruit almost over

BRITAIN'S tantalising wait to get its hands on dried fruit is about to end.

Smart TV disgusted by owner

A SAMSUNG Smart TV is finding its owner increasingly revolting.

UK to vote on return to ‘good old days’

DAVID Cameron has announced there will be a referendum on whether the UK should go back to ‘the good old days’.

Apocalypse confirmed for 4.59pm this Friday

THE world is going to end just as everyone is turning their computer off ready for the Christmas break, it has emerged.