Society

FOOD shoppers could really do without the pictures of chubby farmers and the word 'classic', according to a new survey.

THE pay gap between men and tasty birds who have nice little arses and a smashing set of knockers shows no signs of closing, according to new research.

A WORKSHY Tory defence secretary wants to order a new fleet of nuclear submarines and then get taxpayers to foot the bill, it emerged last night.

THE thing you keep your stuff in that's owned by the bank and that no-one wants to buy anyway is worth £6000 less than it used to be, according to new research.

A SHOCKING drama-documentary will show the Taliban kidnapping Prince Harry and then regretting it almost immediately.

THE smouldering shell that was once Hastings Pier is almost certainly symbolic of something or other, it has been confirmed.

LOCAL councils have started ordering insignificant quantities of salt in preparation for a hard winter.

CHILDREN across Britain are being spruced up and placed on the open market today as millions of middle class parents look to cut their losses.

ABSURDLY camp 1970s-style homosexuals like John Inman and Frankie Howerd are the only ones of that sort who should be on television, your dad announced last night.

PEOPLE who describe themselves as religious may also be a bit thick, according to new research.