War

Dacre and Rusbridger to have slap-fight after work

PAUL Dacre and Alan Rusbridger are to have a fight in the street at 6pm this evening.

Protestants parading around like a bunch of dildos again

NORTHERN Ireland's protestants are yet again commemorating a 17th Century battle by poncing around in their bowler hats.

Redundancy for soldiers who didn't kill anyone

SOLDIERS who failed to meet Afghan death targets are to be sacked.

Idea of female cub scout leader 'is doing Al Qaeda's head in'

JIHADISTS said the idea of a woman being in charge of young males in uniform was driving them crazy.

Horses declare war on humanity

HORSES are now at war with humans.

£45m death machine used for killing people

A MASSIVE helicopter armed with machine guns, missiles and rocket launchers has been used to kill people, it has emerged.

Best Nobel Peace Prize ever

THE Nobel Peace Prize has caused stroke-inducing rage from people who are an absolute joy to watch when they are angry.