Work

JOBS. We all need them, but some of us are shit at them and may be politely told to fuck off. Take our quiz and find out if your job is hanging by a thread.

SCHOOLS finishing on Friday lunchtime could lead to jobs finishing on Friday lunchtime then capitalism collapsing entirely, experts have warned.

A RETIRED builder is reliving the days when he used to have a job by sitting on his jacksie doing sod all, he has confirmed.

A MAN who works from home has added having an efficient and productive mid-morning wank to his CV.

HAVING a sworn enemy to detest and undermine certainly makes slow days at work go faster. But who should you choose as your arch-enemy and target of your undeserved rage?

PIZZA delivery drivers have declared they are sick of being used for sex by randy housewives.

COULD the time you spend travelling to work be used for something more productive than sitting in silent, festering rage like a serial killer? Here are some suggestions.

A POLICE dog would prefer a job that isn’t basically just attacking people, he has confirmed.

YOU think about it most days, but how good would running off to join a circus really be? Here are the main pros and cons.

A LATE-NIGHT email has given office staff a disturbing hint of what their boss’s personal life is like.