Politics Headlines

Johnsons and Bidens enjoy lovely evening of wife-swapping

BRITAIN’S prime minister and America’s president have cemented the special relationship between their countries with an evening of wife-swapping. 

Yet another London twat arrives in St Ives

THE people of St Ives are unfazed as yet another twat from London has visited their sleepy coastal town, they have revealed.

Have you been appointed to the shadow cabinet? Take our quiz

AFTER Keir Starmer’s busy weekend rearranging deckchairs, it’s hard to know who’s who in the shadow cabinet and if you’re shadow secretary for transport.

Boris Johnson's guide to Hartleypool

HARTLEYPOOL is a smashing little seaside resort, a true jewel of the north-west. Here’s an unprompted article detailing what I love so ruddy much about it.

Why I accept full responsibility for the total f**king shitshow I was handed, by Sir Keir Starmer

TOMORROW, Labour will lose a parliamentary seat they have held for 60 years. And, why f**k about, I will accept that it is all my fault.

Laurence Fox the twat London deserves, rest of Britain agrees

UK residents outside London have agreed that Laurence Fox is exactly the kind of prick that Londoners deserve to have as mayor.

Five texts you could have sent Boris Johnson since 2006

BORIS Johnson’s personal mobile phone number has been public since 2006. You’ve probably missed the chance now, but here are five texts you could have sent him.

Would you rather live in a skip or sleep with Michael Gove?

COLUMNIST Sarah Vine has defended the Downing Street flat redecoration, saying the PM should not ‘live in a skip’. However, this is someone who shares a bed Michael Gove. Which would you prefer?

Arlene Foster's raucous leaving do: the full itinerary

ARLENE Foster is stepping down as leader of the Democratic Unionist Party, which means an awesome leaving do with her fundamentalist Christian colleagues. Here’s what they have planned.

Could you decorate a flat for less than £200,000? Take our quiz

MAKING your flat nice is incredibly difficult if you don’t have between £58,000 and £200,000 to spend. Could you do it? Take our quiz and find out.