Politics Headlines

Worried mum finds Tory manifesto stashed under son's mattress

A MOTHER has been left concerned after finding a copy of the Conservative manifesto hidden under her son's mattress.

How to be a deeply unlikeable Remainer

BREXITERS are frequently criticised for being shouty and unreasonable, but – fair’s fair –  Remainers can be obnoxious too. Here’s how.

Brexit party will only stand in seats where there is no possibility it will affect the result

THE Brexit party has agreed only to stand in seats where their candidacy will not affect the result in any way.

Five possible explanations for Farage being such a twat

EVER wondered why Nigel Farage feels the need to keep inflicting his Brexit party nonsense on everyone? Here are some possible explanations.

Man unsure if he's a left-wing Labour voter or a far-right racist

A NORTHERN man is undecided as to whether to back the most radically left-wing Labour party of his lifetime or a bunch of far-right hardcore racists.

The Conservative candidate's guide to the unemployed

IS your firm conviction that people on benefits should be ‘put down’, as Tory candidate Francesca O’Brien said, going over badly on the doorsteps? Try these ideas:

Middle class drunks press-ganged into becoming Brexit Party candidates

MIDDLE class drunks are being dragged from their homes and signed up as Brexit Party candidates for the general election.

Click this link and the election will be over

ALL you have to do is click this link and the general election will be over. Go on. Do it.

Brexiter keeps peeking out window to see if Britain has exploded

A 52-YEAR-OLD man his peeking out the window every 1o minutes to see if the riots have begun on his road.

Brexiter looks out at Britain still slaving under the yoke of unspeakable tyranny

A BREXITER who hoped this morning would be his first in a free Britain has instead woken up to another day as a serf in a vassal state.

The guide to pretending you've got a f**king clue what's going to happen

NOBODY has a bloody clue what is going to happen in December’s election, and it’s pointless pretending otherwise. Here’s how you can.

Johnson to campaign on leaving EU on October 31st no matter what

BORIS Johnson is to centre his election campaign around his do-or-die promise that Britain will leave the EU on October 31st this year.