Politics Headlines

Danny Dyer appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug

DANNY Dyer has been appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug, it has been confirmed.

Johnson and Davis to spend next three months backpacking around South East Asia

BORIS Johnson and David Davis have confirmed that they quit the cabinet to go backpacking around South East Asia together.

Leaving a sinking ship can be the right thing to do, by a rat

IT'S great to see so many of our leading Brexiteers prepared to learn from the vermin community.

David Davis quits cabinet to focus on solo material

BREXIT Minister David Davis has resigned to work on some exciting solo material inspired by leaving the EU.

Britain officially a banana republic

BRITAIN is now officially a banana republic with constant sunshine, collapsing government and a good football team.

Boris arranges to be abducted by aliens when Brexit deal goes through

AFTER dodging the Heathrow vote by visiting Afghanistan, Boris Johnson has arranged to be temporarily kidnapped by extra-terrestrials when the Brexit deal is confirmed.

We can get through Brexit if we're high, says Hague

FORMER Tory leader William Hague believes that the UK can get through Brexit fine as long as it remains 'high as shit' throughout.

Brexit bill to be a terrible betrayal of someone

THE Brexit bill coming to the Commons this afternoon will definitely end up being a terrible betrayal of someone, MPs have agreed.