Politics

THE exact opposite of anything Theresa May says is correct, concerned Britons have realised.

BREXIT supporters are celebrating while desperately trying to ignore all evidence that they are idiots.

THE Conservative Party broke campaign spending rules to promote candidates who are not worth a half-arsed, photo-copied leaflet.

JIM Davidson’s 2014 victory in Celebrity Big Brother was the first sign of the rise of far-right populism, experts have confirmed.

JEREMY Corbyn took ages in the Commons canteen as he pondered aloud whether to go for the pasta bake or the vegetarian chili.

THE Chancellor of the Exchequer has conceded that ‘numbers, money, that sort of thing’ are not his strong point.

THERESA May is to spend the next fortnight telling as many people as possible to just shut it.

THE prime minister has pulled the trigger on Article 50 but is still unsure whether anything has happened or not.

THERESA May has confirmed that she is just like Margaret Thatcher except not even any good at it.

SCOTLAND'S second independence vote must happen in the window between Theresa May's destruction of Britain and her sacking, Nicola Sturgeon has said.