Politics

PEOPLE who love starting fires and watching others run for their lives are the most upbeat about Brexit, it has emerged.

TONY Blair has opened his arms wide and announced his readiness to die for the sins of ignorant Brexit voters.

MPS have set up a decoy Labour party to keep Jeremy Corbyn harmlessly occupied while someone else takes over, they have revealed.

FREEDOM fighter John Bercow has announced plans to launch a revolution in Bolivia.

THE word 'Corbyn' has become a popular idiom for something that is utterly fucking useless.

THE general public are slowly beginning to realise that absolute head cases might not be the best people to run everything.

THERESA May has admitted that she considers all protesters to be an undisciplined, filthy rabble who should be locked up.

NIGEL Farage has offered to take Donald Trump to the pub he pretends he drinks in whenever he wants to appeal to the common man.

THE prime minister has warned Donald Trump she may have the upper hand in negotiations because she was head girl of her grammar school.

THE note of rising dread in the prime minister’s voice as she tells the Commons a Brexit White Paper is ready is the UK’s new lullaby.