Politics

UKIP has asserted that democracy can only be upheld if everyone does what they and their single MP demands.

THE UK has already voted for the overthrow by force of Parliament, the House of Lords and the judiciary, the prime minister has asserted.

LORD Heseltine has admitted strangling his mother’s dog for his initiation into Margaret Thatcher’s cabinet.

MICHAEL Gove left his fully-grown wife alone in a hotel room while he went out partying with their 11-year-old son, it has been confirmed.

BRITONS have thanked Leave voters for forcing them to learn about piss-boring things like exchange rates and EU law.

BANK of England governor Mark Carney is to be replaced with a bucket filled with random suggestions from Theresa May and her idiot friends.

TONY Blair has helped out British politics by calling Remain voters ‘insurgents’ who must ‘mobilise’.

ALL debates about the negative impact of Brexit have been settled for good by Britain's 0.5 per cent third-quarter growth.

CONSERVATIVE MPs have confirmed they do have principles they would resign over, but that they are wilfully strange and obscure.

AFTER approving a third runway at Heathrow, the government has decided to press ahead with any idiotic project that sounds impressive.