Politics

BRITONS have thanked Leave voters for forcing them to learn about piss-boring things like exchange rates and EU law.

BANK of England governor Mark Carney is to be replaced with a bucket filled with random suggestions from Theresa May and her idiot friends.

TONY Blair has helped out British politics by calling Remain voters ‘insurgents’ who must ‘mobilise’.

ALL debates about the negative impact of Brexit have been settled for good by Britain's 0.5 per cent third-quarter growth.

CONSERVATIVE MPs have confirmed they do have principles they would resign over, but that they are wilfully strange and obscure.

AFTER approving a third runway at Heathrow, the government has decided to press ahead with any idiotic project that sounds impressive.

PAUL Nuttall is in no way, shape or form leadership material even for UKIP, it has emerged.

THE Liberal Democrats’ second place in the Witney by-election confirmed them as the party Britain turns to when all hope is lost.

THE prime minister has lost British sovereignty to Germany in a game of poker at the European summit in Brussels.

UKIP is to signal its demise with a classic British pub fight, it has been confirmed.