Politics

DAVID Cameron has told close friends he is being continually hassled by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher.

ED Miliband has pledged that a Labour government will try really hard not to fuck everything up.

DAVID Cameron has set out the ‘Conservative dream’ of a society of hard-working drones who love television more than life itself.

ED MILIBAND’S former girlfriends are the key issue swaying floating voters in the general election. But who are the ex-lovers of this goggle-eyed North London pervert?

DAVID Cameron is finally realising he only became prime minister because Britain could not stand another second of Gordon Brown.

A MAN is opposed to the European Union because it has turned women into feminists who will not go out with him.

TONY Blair has given his unequivocal, 14 per cent backing to Ed Miliband.

DAVID Cameron has apologised after being caught on tape describing a lamb he had just fed as 'bigoted'.

VOTERS in England last night found themselves terrorised and seduced by a medium sized Scottish woman.

DAVID Cameron has urged Britain to get into the spirit of the general election instead of accusing him of lying.