Politics

Cameron announces tough sanctions against London

THE prime minister is to impose sanctions on Russia's wealthiest city, London.

Miliband to show Obama his 2000AD collection

ED Miliband is planning to show Barack Obama his collection of 2000AD comics, many with free gifts still on the cover.

The Mash guide to the cabinet reshuffle

IT’S the reshuffle everyone’s talking about, if you ignore the overwhelming majority of conversations.

Gove to spend days using internet in library

MICHAEL Gove is to spend his days in his local library, using the internet in a furtive manner.

Celebrities avoided giving cash to Tories

MILLIONAIRES who tried to avoid donating to the Conservative party are to be hit with punitive tax bills.

Nigel Farage's guide to voting UKIP

GOOD morning and congratulations on making the best decision of your life - you’re going to vote UKIP.

Public furious about having to find out who Maria Miller is

BRITONS are outraged about being forced to look up Maria Miller on the internet.

Culture secretary says she spent all the money on culture

CULTURE secretary Maria Miller has claimed the £1.2 million profit from her taxpayer-funded second home was spent on 'loads of culture'.

Britain backs Farage plan to move country to alternate universe

BRITAIN is backing Nigel Farage’s plan to send the country through a wormhole to an alternate universe where everything is perfect forever.

Ed Miliband to dress like Bootsy Collins

LABOUR leader Ed Miliband is to embrace his weird side by dressing like a member of 70s collective Funkadelic.