Alcohol

What night this week are you down the pub?

THE UK’s pubs are open again. But which day are you down there getting pissed, and what does it say about you?

Abandoned beer gardens feeling cheap and used

THE beer gardens that were everyone’s darling last month are not even being looked at by thirsty pubgoers flocking indoors.

Couple who only drink at weekends really f**king drink at weekends

A COUPLE who only drink on Fridays and Saturdays get absolutely f**king wrecked every Friday and Saturday, friends have confirmed.

How to enjoy the perfect bank holiday hangover

OVERDID it in the beer garden yesterday? Here’s how to spend a precious day off indulging your acute hangover until it finally subsides.

Man who's been drunk since pubs opened on verge of truly devastating hangover

A MAN who has been consistently pissed for the last fortnight is on the brink of a truly catastrophic hangover.

Pints actually quite a large amount of drink

A WHOLE pint is actually a rather large quantity of fluid to drink multiple times an evening, it has been confirmed.

Andy McNab's SAS guide to lunch hour drinking

LIKE an SAS operation, lunch hour drinking requires you to go in fast, get the job done and get the hell out of there after an hour. Here Andy McNab advises how to do it.

It's great to be back to normal, says man downing six pints on a Wednesday morning

A MAN keeps saying how great it is that things are back to normal, as if getting shitfaced in a freezing cold pub garden in the morning was something he used to do often.

36 heroic Englishmen die of exposure in beer gardens

DOZENS of brave Britons have perished in noble and gallant service to their country by getting hammered in beer gardens.

Which politicians would actually be a laugh down the pub?

FROM Farage to Johnson, British politics is awash with awful men whose popularity is based on the spurious notion they would be good company over a pint. But would they?