Alcohol

Five types of twat who are already back at the pub

PUBS have barely reopened and here are the five types of twat who are already there, ruining it for everyone else.

Maverick, and four other phrases arseholes use to describe themselves

UNFORTUNATE enough to meet someone who describes themselves using these phrases? Be aware they're basically just synonyms for 'total prick'.

Pub, think men

MEN across the UK are living on autopilot this weekend while thinking only 'pub', they have confirmed.

'F**k it, let's all go indoors': the five new ways to know you're too pissed

UNSURE how to spot you’ve had one too many now you can’t get kicked out of the pub for vomiting in a pint glass? Here are the tell-tale signs in the age of Covid.

Woman asked for ID once tells story ten times

A 39-YEAR-OLD woman asked for ID when buying alcohol will not stop banging on about it, sources have reported.

How drunk can you get at online Cheltenham?

CHELTENHAM Festival has always been the perfect excuse to get wrecked from 10am while pretending to watch horses. But how can you reproduce that online?

Petty bastard looking forward to the round you owe him

A PENNY-PINCHING bastard of a mate is looking forward to pubs reopening so he can collect on that pint you owe him from 2020.

Five classic signs of alcohol overconfidence

ONE of the many negative effects of alcohol is way too much confidence. Here are some signs that you may have overdone it.

Man finds credit card receipt from pub visit and breaks down

A MAN has found a credit card receipt from a night down the pub with his mates this time last year and broken down.

How to bring the ambience of your dodgy local pub to your living room

MISSING your local bar during lockdown? Here are five ways to recreate the uniquely unpleasant atmosphere of your beloved watering hole at home.