Arts & Entertainment

DO you no longer have to impress people with your taste in music because you’re middle-aged and inarguably uncool?

WANT to clog up everyone’s feeds with self-absorbed time-wasting? Here are six pieces of crap you can share today:

A WOMAN managed to make it through three pages of the book she planned to read during lockdown before calling it a day.

A MAN plans to behave as if he has seen Normal People then hope the conversation does not go into detail.

A WOMAN has politely reassured her husband that she can follow what is going on in the film by herself, thank you very f**king much.

A WOMAN has realised that she is no longer watching This Morning for a laugh and is genuinely just watching it. 

THE blaring music from next door’s garden is actually a playlist they have especially put together for you, they have nervously admitted.

A WOMAN’S paperback copy of Normal People has three different speeds and ten different pleasure settings, she has confirmed.

PEOPLE in Britain are officially sick of doing f**king quizzes, they have confirmed.

BRITISH workers have demanded assurances that they get to see how Breaking Bad and Mad Men end before returning to their workplaces.