Arts & Entertainment

THE velociraptors who starred in Jurassic Park will join the cast of the upcoming Jurassic World sequel, they have confirmed.

A WOMAN who had never been to a musical before had no idea they were quite so awful, she has admitted.

A TV crime drama that started off promisingly is now just f**king with viewers for kicks, it has emerged.

BREXIT is currently in the part of the film where nothing will happen for a while so it will all be put together as a montage set to music, it has been confirmed.

SEVERAL middle-aged friends are regretting buying tickets to a festival this summer.

A MAN has decided to stop hiding his true musical orientation and tell everyone he likes Sting.

A WOMAN who calls herself ‘a big fan’ of classical music only knows the Game of Thrones theme tune, it has emerged.

CHILDREN have demanded to know why television programmes aimed at them are all incredibly weird.

MARVEL comics is to introduce a diverse storyline where the same old shit doesn't happen.

JAMIROQUAI now seems alright compared to the many bigger knobs who are around in 2017, it has emerged.