Arts & Entertainment

RADIOHEAD have been booked in Glastonbury’s Sunday afternoon slot for heritage acts whose music young people enjoy ironically. 

KEN Loach has criticised the scheduling of costume dramas on Sunday evenings instead of plays about the debasement of the working classes.

BOB Dylan has not opened his letter from the Nobel Prize committee because he believes it is a gas bill.

ANGRY novelists have stressed that writing a novel is really difficult and writing some folks songs is not.

MUSIC historians have warned that conditions in the UK are ripe for the rise of a new Oasis.

THE next installation on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square is to be a series of horribly misogynistic tweets.

NIRVANA'S Nevermind album did not come out 25 years ago, everyone has agreed.

A 38-YEAR-OLD man believes that Groove Armada song about sand dunes and salty air is a classic piece of music.

MARY Berry has quit The Great British Bake-Off because of all the bullshit going down.

EASTENDERS is to surprise viewers with a storyline where Ian Beale watches old episodes of the show on UK Gold and questions the nature of reality.