Arts & Entertainment

New series of Homeland to be set in reality

THE MAKERS of TV drama Homeland have announced that the next series will make the leap to being set in the real world.

Albus Potter’s idiot uncle unveiled

THE new Harry Potter play will feature Harry’s time-wasting brother Geoff constantly coming round with some stupid problem or request, it has emerged.

Man almost goes into Games Workshop

A 31-YEAR-OLD man almost went into a branch of Games Workshop but was worried that somebody might see, it has emerged.

Disney announces first animated film character who is not an annoying smart arse

DISNEY’S Frozen 2 will feature a character who is not constantly making snappy wise cracks, it has emerged.

Dad analysing Top Gear as if it were collected works of Shakespeare

58-YEAR-OLD Wayne Hayes has written over 100 pages of notes on the new Top Gear, it has emerged.

Germaine Greer excited about new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film

GERMAINE Greer has confirmed that she will be first in line for the forthcoming film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows.

Swallows and Amazons originally called Bollocks and Bellends

CLASSIC children’s books have been altered to remove words that were not considered obscene during their era, a publisher has revealed.

Everyone at Cannes film festival thinks they are better than you

EXPERTS have confirmed that everyone at the Cannes Festival thinks they are better than you in every way.

Girlfriend wants to go and see a play

A WOMAN struck terror into her boyfriend’s heart by suggesting they go to see a play, it has emerged.

Slovenians can’t wait to hear wacky British Eurovision entry

SLOVENIAN Eurovision fans are gleefully anticipating whatever crazy act the UK is entering for Eurovision this year.