Arts & Entertainment

THE new series of The X-Files begins by investigating the mysterious reason the show was taken off air in 2002, it has emerged.

A MAN is worried that he cannot differentiate between incredible acting performances and ones that are quite poor.

THE coffee machine from a local cafe bar is to join a heavy metal band, it has been confirmed.

THE Hatton Garden jewel thieves have been sentenced to sit through the inevitable British gangster movie based on their heist.

THE chanting bit from rave classic Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald will be sung at international sporting events, it has been confirmed.

A MIDDLE-AGED married couple have admitted that David Bowie was their first mutual crush.

A MAN who met The Strokes nearly 14 years ago still brings it up at the slightest opportunity.

FIVE people are begging their friend to see The Force Awakens so they can stop talking about it in code.

AGEING multimillionaire George R R Martin has stopped writing the next Game of Thrones book while in the middle of a sentence.

THE Massacre of the Innocents by Jacopo Tintoretto has gone viral after people noticed its similarity to a night on the tiles in Northern England.