Arts & Entertainment

Jolie Continuing To Promote Peace Through Ultra-Violent Action Films

ANGELINA Jolie last night urged movie-goers to be inspired by the pacifist message of her new film Unrelenting Gun Death II: So Much Blood.

Gibson And Cruise To Form United Psychopaths

MEL Gibson and Tom Cruise are to form a new studio dedicated to making films that are completely insane from start to finish.

Snoop To Pimp Out Deirdre Barlow

RAPPER Snoop Dogg is to feature in a Coronation Street storyline that sees him running a stable of psychotic crack whores from above the shop.

6 Music To Continue Doing Whatever It Supposedly Does

NOBODY is sure whether 6 Music has started broadcasting again, whether it stopped or what it actually does, following a decision by the BBC Trust.

BBC Stars To Reveal What They Do With The Money

THE BBC's most famous names will be forced to reveal how they spend their magnificent salaries, it has been confirmed.

Big Brother Comes To An End As Everyone Just Gives Up

BIG Brother was brought quietly to a close last night as the entire production team decided to do something else with their lives.

Christopher Eccleston Claims He Was Doctor Who

SURLY actor Christopher Eccleston has claimed he was the star of Doctor Who.

White People Advised Against B.A. Baracus Impersonations

THE new A-Team film is to carry a warning advising white men in their 30s not to impersonate B.A. Baracus.

Bon Jovi Gigs To Trigger Fresh Wave Of Pathetic Pub Bands

HUNDREDS of desperate pub bands could be created in the wave of impending Bon Jovi gigs, experts have warned.

Tight Fit To Revive Lion Sleeps Tonight Concept Album

TIGHT Fit are to revive their 1982 conceptĀ  album The Lion Sleeps Tonight with a series of spectacular stage shows.