Arts & Entertainment

THE release of T2 Trainspotting has left a middle-aged man feeling depressed that it is probably too late to become an Edinburgh heroin addict.

GLASTONBURY’S new festival the Variety Bazaar will feature large vegetables, a pig race with obstacles and Lady Gaga running a lucky dip.

A MAN believes he is intellectually superior because he slavishly follows the implausible storylines of Sherlock, he has revealed.

SKY TV has pulled the broadcast of its Michael Jackson comedy drama, after realising the whole thing was completely insane from start to finish.

A ROCK band have split because they have the same crap tastes and sound like all the other shit that is out there.

GOLDEN Globe-winning musical La La Land is fast becoming the film you will go to any lengths not to watch in 2017.

THE audience at a production of Peter Pan have been told they must believe in Brexit if Tinkerbell is to live.

BEING the UK’s City of Culture has caused everyone in Hull to become a snooty intellectual, it has emerged.

THE planned Brexit feature film will only be available on VHS, it has been announced.

EASTENDERS fans have been left in tears by traumatic scenes showing Ian Beale alive and well.