Arts & Entertainment

DEATH has been told it is not allowed to take Sir Terry Pratchett until an investigation is held.

THE fantasy-reading community has been left confused by a tale of noble houses, war and dragons that concludes in one volume.

JAY Kay from Jamiroquai is to sue Pharrell for copying his ‘overconfident bellend in a massive hat’ brand.

SELF-PORTRAITS by artists including Rembrandt and Van Gogh are to be banned from the National Gallery for encouraging mindless vanity.

PHILLIP Schofield has confirmed that This Morning has shelved a segment on increasing sexual excitement by restricting the flow of oxygen to the brain.

RECENT poor quality science fiction films were created to make the new Star Wars seem incredible, it has emerged.

BRITAIN'S Eurovision entrants received a summons letter forcing them to perform, it has emerged.

FANS attending a Wombats gig have half-heartedly requested the band return a second time while checking their phones.

EVERY child who dressed up for ‘World Book Day’ is just a character from a popular film.

NIGHTCLUBS must now reserve five per cent of their tickets for strange social misfits.