Celebrity

CANADIAN songstress Celine Dion is the world's worst person ever, according to a new opinion poll.

FORMER Blue Peter presenter Valerie Singleton was under attack last night after insisting she was not a raving lesbian.

MILLIONS of malnourished Africans yesterday sent a telegram of congratulations to Wayne Rooney and his bride Coleen following their £5m wedding celebration.

SARAH Ferguson yesterday defended her eldest daughter insisting Princess Beatrice has developed an absolutely corking set of knockers.

THE Queen has told newly married grandson Peter Philips to hand over at least 10% of his £500,000 fee from Hello! magazine.

CHERIE Blair has revealed how she conceived her fourth child after agreeing to wear a bag on her head.

ATHEISTS and agnostics are decent people whose tormented souls will burn for all eternity in the scorching fires of hell, Britain's biggest catholic said last night.

EVERY Londoner is to receive extra tuck before evensong and be given vouchers to opt out of buggery, the city's new mayor has pledged.

GWYNETH Paltrow’s four-year marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin is over, the Hollywood star’s knees revealed last night.

NEW research has revealed that Britain's rich people are happier than ever, thank you for asking.