Celebrity

JEREMY Clarkson was factually correct, it was claimed last night. 

FILM fans were last night given a sneak preview of Christian Bale's worst American accent so far.

SIMON Cowell has told Kelly Brook she was dropped from Britain's Got Talent because she was just too pretty.

PRINCE Charles's brutal assaults on a polo playing Asian friend are just playful banter, it was claimed last night.

OSCAR winner Emma Thompson is to chair a new committee which will decide where you spend your summer holidays.

PRINCE PHILIP has changed his will in order to bequeath his extensive collection of racist paraphernalia to his favourite grandson.

BEATLES legend John Lennon has been impersonated in an advert for the first time since his death 28 years ago.

X-FACTOR sweetheart Diana Vickers last night said she loved fellow contestant Eoghan Quigg but had not had sex with him yet because he's only five.

ALEXANDRA Burke will this morning begin a glamorous new life of cover versions, Heat magazine stories about her fat eyelids and being offered £250 to open the Macclesfield Glen retail and leisure park.

IT'S the age-old story of a mother who teams up with the halfwit uncle of her sleazy boyfriend to kidnap her own daughter and keep her on a nine foot leash until she can con £50,000 out of the News of the World.