Celebrity
'Any time, any place' Duchess tells novelist
IF Booker prize winner Hilary Mantel wants a piece of the Duchess of Cambridge, she can have it, St James's Palace has confirmed.
Paxman dispensing vigilante cleverness
JEREMY Paxman has a vigilante alter ego called 'Clever Man'.
Bikini photos show Kate's massive buttocks
NEW paparazzi photos of the Duchess of Cambridge show that her buttocks are now huge.
Supply Pope hasn't even read the Bible
JOSEPH Ratzinger has been temporarily replaced by an incompetent supply Pope, it has emerged.
Pope headhunted by Satan
POPE Benedict XVI is leaving his post at the Vatican to work for the devil.
Beckham to help poor children have better hair
DAVID Beckham will donate his salary to disadvantaged children with unco-operative hair.
Middle class to seek Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's approval on everything
THE middle classes are not going to do anything without getting Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's explicit permission.
Queen 'can veto Prime Ministerial urination'
THE Queen's powers include the right to veto the prime minister's toilet habits, it has emerged.