Health
Drunk man at bar not lying about being a surgeon
THE pisshead you met at the weekend was telling the truth when he claimed to be a top surgeon.
Doctors' receptionists urged to be less terrifying
PATIENTS have asked doctors' receptionists if they can please stop looking at them like that.
Organs really up for being donated
BRITAIN'S organs are very much in favour of being donated.
Why was corned beef being sold to anyone?
CONSUMERS have demanded to know why corned beef is available.
Nurses to be trained in nursing
NURSES will be trained to do other things instead of just looking busy and pretending to be doctors.
More ambulances used for hipster art than conveying sick people
EMERGENCY calls are going unanswered as hipsters pressure the NHS to decommission ambulances for their art projects.
Maybe fill-in the 'black death pit', says everyone
IT might be an idea to fill-in a big hole full of plague victims as quickly as possible, it has been suggested.
Shit-faced Theresa May in minimum price revolt
DAVID Cameron has ditched plans for minimum alcohol pricing after a revolt by the Cabinet's problem drinkers.