International

Assault weapons are very handy, says US gun lobby

MILITARY-STYLE assault rifles have many practical applications for the perfectly sane, it has been claimed.

Arm teachers, say unspeakable pieces of shit

TEACHERS should be given assault rifles, America's bastard pieces of shit said last night.

Death of Twinkies could affect US holiday one-upmanship

THE demise of Twinkies could leave thousands of British holidaymakers unable to show off about having eaten them.

Israel and Hamas predict different result from doing same thing

THE conflict between Israel and Hamas can be resolved as long as both sides keep doing the same thing over and over again, it has been claimed.

Texas struggling with life under communism

TEXAS is now a communist state following the re-election of Barack Obama, it has emerged.