International

Not Even I Believe That Shit, Pope Tells Brown

POPE Benedict XVI has told Gordon Brown that he has believed some crazy things in his time but he's not buying that crap.

Obama Shuts Down 'Grey's Anatomy'

PRESIDENT Barack Obama yesterday fulfilled a key campaign promise by announcing the closure of Grey's Anatomy.

US Chief Justice Missing

JOHN Roberts, the Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, was missing last night after ruining Barack Obama's inauguration.

Hope, Challenges, Whatever

BARACK Obama began his historic presidency yesterday with an historic call for hope, renewal, blah blah, hard work, all that sort of stuff.

Hudson Crash Landing Still Better Than Heathrow

PASSENGERS on the plane which crash landed on the Hudson river last night insisted the terrifying experience was much better than Heathrow.

Israel To Open Humanitarian Corridor And Then Blow It Up

ISRAEL has agreed to open a corridor into Gaza for essential humanitarian supplies and then fire hundreds of missiles at it.

Loving This, Admit Israel And Hamas

ISRAEL and Hamas last night admitted the latest wave of deadly violence was one of the best they had seen in years.

Iraq Had Shoes All Along, Claims Vindicated Bush

PRESIDENT Bush last night claimed his decision to invade Iraq had been vindicated after US troops uncovered an arsenal of shoes on the outskirts of Fallujah.

100 Nations Agree To Kill People Differently

ONE hundred nations last night signed a treaty agreeing to kill people without using cluster bombs.

Israel And Palestine Sign Peace Deal To Prevent Clinton Visit

ISRAEL and Palestine last night signed a hastily arranged peace deal in a desperate bid to prevent a visit from Hillary Clinton.