International

THREE days after the exploding Euro-summit, everyone is still pretending that they know what is going to happen.

THE result of Russia's parliamentary election was decided two weeks ago and then locked in a safe to prevent corruption.

THE 'Arab Spring' is a mistranslation, it has emerged.

ITALY'S new prime minister has begun the deskankification of the country's politics.

GIVING up smoking has put Barack Obama in the mood to launch a few warheads, it emerged last night.

GEORGE Papandreou may be trying to con Europe with the short grift, experts have claimed.

GREECE was condemned last night for punching a nice horse right in its face.

EUROZONE leaders have agreed a landmark deal to save the single currency after the German chancellor said she was feeling a bit 'Fourth Reichy'.

THE European Union is close to agreeing a deal to save the single currency with a fresh injection of 200 billion opinions into the thinking system.

COLONEL Gaddafi may have been killed by a bullet that entered a part of his body, the new Libyan government has confirmed.