Lifestyle

Can't sleep? How to make sure your partner f**king well knows about it

DRIVING yourself mad trying to get to sleep? Why suffer alone? Here’s how to broadcast your insomnia to whoever shares your bed.

The five 'micro habits' of insufferably smug people

DO you love self-righteously explaining to people how their life would be less of a mess if they made small changes every day? Share these tips with them.

Middle-class families panic-buying board games

MIDDLE-CLASS families have cleared the shelves of cerebral board games as the coronavirus panic continues.

Woman spends weekend on phone seeing what other people are doing

A WOMAN is spending the whole weekend watching what friends and acquaintances are doing this weekend, via her phone.

Cat's entire life is 'me time'

A CAT has perfected the art of self-care by devoting every second of her energies and time towards herself.

The parents' guide to treating pubs like a f**king soft play area

PUBS are a great place to for adults to relax but they also work as soft play areas for parents who don’t give a sh*t about other drinkers. Here’s how...

Middle aged man realises every item of clothing he's wearing was a gift

A MAN getting ready for a night out was shocked to notice that every part of his outfit was bought for him by someone else.

Middle aged woman preparing for big night out by double-dropping Imodium

A WOMAN’S preparations for a night on the town have changed drastically in the last two decades, she has revealed.

Man wearing same clothes since 2003 hailed as pioneer of sustainable fashion

A 35-YEAR-OLD man still wearing the same polo shirts he wore at university has been named as an icon of sustainable fashion.

Wearing sparkly trainers key sign that you're a kn*bhead

RESEARCHERS have found that adults wearing metallic or bejewelled trainers are 12 times more likely to be total cocks.