subscribe
/ Sign Out

Lifestyle

How are you pretending it's OK not to have a pension?

ARE you secretly shitting yourself about not having a pension but want to pretend it’s fine? Here are some great ways to delude yourself.

Alkaline water better than alcohol for making people talk bollocks

THE new health trend of drinking alkaline enhanced water has proven as effective as alcohol at making people talk a lot of shit.

Would your partner rather go out with their phone than you?

EVERYONE loves their smartphone, but are you concerned your partner would rather have a relationship with it than you? Take our quiz and find out.

Boy racer on 814th consecutive night of driving around pointlessly

A YOUNG driver has spent every night for well over two years driving around aimlessly in his crappy car.

Man still longing to drive car he drew when he was eight

A MAN has admitted he secretly wishes he could drive the outlandish car he drew when he was eight.

I was a better person before I lost my hair, claims man

A MAN has explained to colleagues that he is only a bitter, vengeful, petty tyrant because he went bald aged 30.

Caravan holidays just gateway to swinging, grandparents admit

CARAVAN holidays are a tentative step towards kinky retirement-age swinging, the nation’s grandparents have admitted.

Man in his 40s still dicking about with his hair

A MAN is still experimenting with fashionable hairstyles despite reaching the age where it is pointless.

Parents avoid hassle of going to theme park by emptying wallets into bog

AN ingenious couple have saved themselves a whole day of queuing at Thorpe Park by just emptying their wallets into the toilet.

The no-nonsense Northerner's guide to spiritual wellbeing

‘WELLNESS’ is one of the buzzwords of the moment. Here straight-talking Northerner Roy Hobbs gives his advice on improving your spiritual health.