Lifestyle

MET someone who believes ‘gin o’clock!’ is the last word in wit? What a great timesaver to discovering they’re a tedious cock. Watch out for these:

SPENDING thousands on a fancy summer holiday but worried about being looked down on by your sanctimonious friends? Here’s how to get away with it.

A WOMAN who told friends organising her hen do that she did not want anything involving penis straws, sashes or getting absolutely sh*tfaced is regretting her actions.

A MAN is worried he will probably die without ever having had a proper fist fight. 

DO you have an intellectually challenged friend or relative who absolutely will not give up their belief that carrots give you night vision? Here is some other rubbish to ignore.

EVEN the most middle class families sometimes have no choice but to visit a horrendous British seaside town. Here’s how to survive the experience.

A COUPLE with young children are comforting themselves that one day their kids will not even want to be in the same room as them.

HAVING a garden party? Keen on maximising aggravation to your neighbours? Here’s how.

HAVE you run out of time to get slim for summer? Here are some weight-loss tips that are even more unhinged than the usual nonsense.

A COUPLE looking through a book of baby names have complained that it includes unacceptable choices like Titty, Krane, Marlboro and McGeorge.