Lifestyle

A BRITISH man believes that saying English words in a French accent means he is actually speaking French.

ARE you and your middle class chums planning to rent a cottage in rural Dorset or similar? Here’s how to be as annoying as possible.

A MAN who has agreed to a big night out with mates is praying there will be some sort of disaster so he can be in bed by 10pm.

TATTOOS are great and nobody ever regrets them, so why not get one done where everyone can see it? Good idea? Bad idea?

A MAN has organised a Straight Pride festival that reflects his heterosexual values by putting on a barbecue in a corner of Homebase car park.

A COUPLE'S online wedding list has got to be taking the piss, it has been confirmed.

MICHAEL Gove is absolutely mental for gak, the white stuff, ching and nose crack, he has confessed. 

A MAN who has had a tough week is urgently searching for something he can buy himself to cheer himself up.

THOUSANDS are self-styled 'foodies' are trumpeting their ability to orally process nutrients, it has emerged.

A COUPLE have relocated to a smaller house to be in the catchment area of an outstanding Waitrose, they have confirmed.