Woman too aroused by man's soothing voice on meditation app to concentrate

A WOMAN trying to use a meditation app is too aroused by the man’s soothing voice to be in any way relaxing.

Woman can't wait to use new bread maker three times

A WOMAN who bought a bread-maker is excited to use it three times before going back to buying bread.

Adrenaline junkie actually attention junkie

A MAN who claims to be hooked on exciting activities is really just addicted to telling people about them.

Middle-class woman runs out of hobbies to pathetically give up on

A MIDDLE-CLASS woman has officially run out of creative projects to abandon.

Should you tell people about the dream you had last night?

DID you have a dream last night and are desperate to tell someone about it? Find out whether that is a good idea with our handy quiz.

How to pretend going to the beach is fun

IT’S summer and that means beach time. Yay. Here’s how to look as if you do like to be beside the seaside, even though it’s pretty shit most of the time.

Teenager desperate for people to know he smokes weed

A TEENAGE boy really wants everybody to know he enjoys a toke, it has been confirmed.

Mid-life hangovers now come with sickening mid-life crisis

PEOPLE turning 40 are being warned that hangovers now include a distressing mid-life crisis that could last for years.

People in restaurant so glad they invited a f**king anal retentive

A MEAL was turned into a massive pain in the arse by a man obsessed with splitting the bill fairly.

Helmet won't protect middle-aged skateboarder from shame

A SAFETY helmet will not protect a man from the shame of taking up a child's hobby at the age of 42, it has emerged.