Lifestyle

A MAN has still not achieved his life’s goal of owning a ride-on lawnmower and a garden big enough to use it, he has confessed.

A MOTHER-of-two has spent every single penny she had in a single afternoon at the school’s summer fete.

MANY people have admitted they don’t wash their legs in the shower, sparking a furious Twitter ‘debate’. Here are some handy comments to help you join in.

A WOMAN who cannot afford to buy a house and fill it with children has decided to become the 'mum' of her houseplants instead.

A WOMAN has actually told her friends that climate change is fine because she has already got a tan in May.

AN extremely middle-class family are struggling to outdo themselves with ostentatious displays of middle-classness.

A LONDON couple spend all their weekends claiming to live in a nearby but better part of London, their friends have confirmed.

DO you sometimes let slip a vile fart in the office or other embarrassing situation? Here’s how to get away with it.

ANY parent teaching their child to swim is fully aware that the shallow pool they must get into is basically a massive vat of toddler urine.

PEOPLE who claim they are ‘making memories’ are just putting a twee spin on the endless drudgery of being alive, it has been confirmed.