Lifestyle

A MAN is having a major rethink of his neck beard after realising he has no idea why he grew it.

‘YOU scrub up nicely’ actually means ‘normally you look pretty shit’, recipients of the compliment feel.

A WOMAN who lives for the weekend has had yet another dreadful weekend, she has admitted.

A WOMAN who visits with no prior warning is a pain in the arse, her friends have confirmed.

A WEALTHY arsehole likes to make visitors guess the cost of his extremely over-priced belongings.

A WOMAN is getting the most out of her daily mindfulness session by planning how to fuck up people who have wronged her.

A MIDDLE class family from London has unveiled plans to go back to basics by ‘camping’ in a yurt that has a proper toilet, a power shower and a free-standing bath.

A MAN who insists on opening doors and pulling out chairs for ‘ladies’ is not a Knight of the Round Table and actually a bit creepy.  

For some reason I have made the decision to spend these years – my entire 20s – with my face hidden behind a massive, stupid, fucking beard.

A COUPLE who posted hundreds of idyllic holiday photos on Facebook actually had a horrific week of blazing rows and food poisoning.