Relationships

A COUPLE who are strict vegans, wear upcycled clothing and go on holiday by train have realised their marriage is toxic and disposable.

A HUSBAND has accepted he will be spending most of the day alone with the kids after his wife told him she was “off for a quick bath”. 

A COUPLE who have been married for five years are struggling to remember when they were last intimate with a third person.

A MAN’S wife somehow cannot grasp that his figurines of Iron Man, Darth Maul and Ripley from Alien are an excellent investment.

A WOMAN who has been seeing her new partner since January has only now realised that he looks terrible in hot weather. 

DO you think it would be ‘fun’ to have a first date at a wedding? If that sounds like a good idea then here are some even worse suggestions.

A WOMAN has been appalled to find that a casual friend believes she is her ‘best friend’.

A MAN who refers to looking after his own children as ‘babysitting’ has taken his wife’s claim to be ‘meeting a friend for coffee’ entirely at face value.

EVERY noise emanating from the kitchen from furiously clinking cutlery to irately closed cupboards is extremely angry, a husband has confirmed.

OLDER brothers and sisters are great because they break all the rules and catch all the sh*t and you get away scot-free, younger siblings have confirmed.