Relationships

BORED of your sex life? Why not read about these wild new sexual positions, suggest to your partner you try them, and then not bother because surely sex is one thing you shouldn’t over-complicate?

A WOMAN is baffled at her inability to find true love with an app primarily used for hook-ups.

A COUPLE who claimed they had split for a whole host of reasons have got back together after discovering that they could not do better than each other after all.

A WOMAN who married an idiot has asked her friends why they said nothing even though the ceremony included a clear invitation to speak out.

COUPLES’ arguments will be adjudicated by video assistant referees to determine who is in the wrong.

A SELFISH boyfriend has refused to learn to read his partner’s mind, it has emerged.

A MAN in a four-month-old relationship is still breaking wind in the local park.

A MARRIED couple have completely shut out each others’ rambling report of their day at work for the last nine years, they have confirmed.

THERE comes a time in every relationship when you have to weasel out of long-term commitment. Here are some excellent lame excuses.

A COUPLE who swore they would never be ‘those’ parents have absolutely, definitively become ‘those’ parents, acquaintances have confirmed.