Relationships

Man who ridicules girlfriend's massive handbag still wants to put things in it

A MAN who moans that his girlfriend’s handbag is ridiculously large still asks her if he can put several items in it every time they go out.

Husband can't wait to hear latest thrilling twists and turns in saga of wife's office

A MAN cannot wait for his wife to update him on the latest gripping events in the ongoing saga of what’s happened in her office.

Wife lying in wait to ruin husband's anecdote

A WIFE who is very bored of hearing the same anecdote yet again is lying in wait to ruin it at just the right moment.

Smug couple hobbies that will make people hate you even more

DO your friends already hate you because of how sickeningly loved-up you are? Taking up one of these awful couples' hobbies will really ratchet up the nausea.

All men are twats, says woman exclusively attracted to twats

A WOMAN only ever romantically involved with utter dickheads believes, based on her own experience, that all men are utter dickheads.

Is your partner a pain in the arse to sleep with?

IF you wake up knackered and irritable most mornings it’s possible your partner is an annoying bastard to sleep with. Take our test and find out.

Man believes 'let's not get each other presents' means he doesn’t have to get his girlfriend a present

A MAN whose girlfriend suggested they do not buy each other presents this Christmas to save money has no idea he still has to get her something.

'Holding up a fish' is sexiest thing ever, confirm women

WOMAN have confirmed that they just bloody love a photo of a man holding a fish.

Couple on lunchtime date hammered and ready for sex by 4pm

A MAN and woman who arranged a daytime date to get to know each other were shouting drunk and ready to shag by late afternoon.

How to blame your parents for f**king you up

IF your life is a depressing failure, why not blame your mum and dad as Philip Larkin suggested? Here’s how to make them responsible for your personal shortcomings.