Relationships

'I love her but…' says woman about to issue brutal takedown of friend's entire personality

A WOMAN has earnestly expressed just how much she loves one of her friends, immediately before slagging off  everything she says and does.

Woman unsure if sex drive is diminishing through age or husband

A WOMAN is unsure whether her sex drive is decreasing due to her advancing age or due to her husband being an absolute bellend.

Partner who refuses to share toothbrush fine with putting genitals in mouth

A WOMAN is confused about why her boyfriend will not share his toothbrush when he’ll happily put his mouth on the area she pisses from.

Six great films about having sex with things that aren't human

RELATIONSHIP problems? Think it might be worth trying your luck with a different species or thing? As with all life decisions, Hollywood films are full of valuable advice.

The parents' guide to why grandparents are shit at looking after your kids

HAVING your parents around to look after your kids seems like a blessing, until you realise they've stopped giving a shit about discipline. Here's how they'll suck at babysitting.

Five obvious lies women tell men about what they find attractive

MEN are slightly disgusting, so it’s not surprising women fib about what they find attractive. Here are some nice sentiments that are actually filthy lies.

Man wondering if he can ghost his wife

A MAN is wondering if the popular dating tactic of ‘ghosting’ would work on the wife of 12 years he shares a home and joint account with.

Total narcissists, and other absolute dickheads women will go out with if they're tall

ARE you a woman prepared to overlook even the worst flaws if a man is over six feet tall? Here are some of the biggest dickheads who will make the cut:

Five things people who take f**king ages in the shower are doing that definitely aren't wanking

DOES your partner take so long in the shower you’re convinced they’re having a wank? They’re probably doing these weird things instead. Let’s hope so, anyway.

Couple affronted by idea of scheduling sex never f**k

A COUPLE who thinks scheduling lovemaking is shamefully bureaucratic never, ever have sex, it has emerged.