Clueless wife fails to see investment potential of sci-fi figures

A MAN’S wife somehow cannot grasp that his figurines of Iron Man, Darth Maul and Ripley from Alien are an excellent investment.

Boyfriend of six months looks sh*t in summer

A WOMAN who has been seeing her new partner since January has only now realised that he looks terrible in hot weather. 

First date ideas that will guarantee your relationship is doomed

DO you think it would be ‘fun’ to have a first date at a wedding? If that sounds like a good idea then here are some even worse suggestions.

Friend horrified to discover she is considered 'best friend'

A WOMAN has been appalled to find that a casual friend believes she is her ‘best friend’.

Man 'babysitting' his children while wife 'meets friend for coffee'

A MAN who refers to looking after his own children as ‘babysitting’ has taken his wife’s claim to be ‘meeting a friend for coffee’ entirely at face value.

All the noises coming from the kitchen are angry

EVERY noise emanating from the kitchen from furiously clinking cutlery to irately closed cupboards is extremely angry, a husband has confirmed.

Older siblings great because they catch all the sh*t

OLDER brothers and sisters are great because they break all the rules and catch all the sh*t and you get away scot-free, younger siblings have confirmed.

Dog realises entire life built around couple

A GOLDEN retriever who never thought he would be ‘one of those dogs’ who organised his whole life around humans is doing just that.

Weddings in stupid places to bankrupt Britain

MILLIONS of Britons are facing financial ruin because their friends keep getting married in distant, expensive places they have only visited once.

Is everyone else having loads more sex than you?

WORRIED your sex life has shrivelled and died whilst everyone else is at it hammer-and tongs? Here’s how to measure your sexual activity against the national average.